Yes, We Have No Shoe Boxes 5

Yes, We Have No Shoe Boxes

Day 29 Write 31 Days Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: “Take a shoebox and…” I don’t have any shoeboxes. I don’t keep shoeboxes. When I buy shoes, I leave the box at the store. Somehow, I wear this as a badge of dishonor; a testament to my wretched mothering.  I have no shoeboxes. I am the mom with no shoeboxes.  We started to homeschool because I couldn’t deal with the judgments and whispers, “She doesn’t have any shoe boxes. …

Stuff I Wish You'd Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You 1

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Jesus is Out to Get You I guess this isn’t really a “Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying…” and more “stuff you gotta stop believing.” Since before the dawn of the Saturday Night Live Church Lady, probably since the very first church lady sat her pious polyester covered butt down on an oak pew, humankind has been jacking up Jesus for the rest of us.  Her prim judgmental lips spoke volumes, either by actively …

Dear Netflix, Stop Asking Me...
Parenting

Dear Netflix, Stop Asking Me…

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying… Dear Netflix, I originally was going to post an open letter to you about how much I hate when you stop my show and ask me, “Are you still watching this?” To be honest, I found it condescending.  I am an adult.  I’ll decide when I have mindlessly watched Parks & Rec or Gilmore Girls for long enough.  I don’t need you to ask me, “Are you really still sitting there?  Are you trapped under …

i cant

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: I Can’t…

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying… I can’t. The other day, after only 4 hours of sleep, I had an “I can’t…” moment. It lasted all day. The three-year-old refused to come out of the bathroom because he didn’t want me to see him naked. I literally gave him a bath last night. The 2-year-old insists on wearing Batman underwear OVER his clothes. I change his diaper and get him dressed, and he throws a walleyed fit until I put …