Please follow and like us:

A long ago time in a galaxy far, far from here

God went to the movies.

He knew the ending, so He decided other forms of entertainment like babies and platypuses would suit Him better.

And I agree with Him.  I have never seen The Titanic. Why would I pay $8.00 for popcorn when I know (spoiler alert) IT SINKS?!?!?!

Y’all calm the freak down!!!!!

I am not going to see The Shack for these reasons:

  1. Life is hard and sad enough.
  2. No.
  3. I know Jesus, if something as horrific as the murder of my child were to occur all I could do is fall into His arms.

BUT IT IS JUST A MOVIE!!!

And everyone who is taking offense to it is once again making a mockery of us.

Someone get me a cup of Starbucks!!!

Sweet Jesus, HE’s JESUS!  LET HIM BE JESUS.

He is not any more shocked or offended that God is being portrayed by a black woman than He was that (spoiler alert) Darth Varder was Luke’s father.  FYI:  In German Darth Vader means dark father so… some humans saw that one coming.

The day the Good Lord knit together Morgan Freeman in his mother’s womb He already knew, “This guy’s voice overs of me will be legend.”

The day Jim Carey broke through the mysterious waters of in utero and breathed his first breath God knew, “This guy will be obnoxious… and do a poor depiction of me in Bruce Almighty.

That wasn’t REALLY the Holy Grail in Monty Python.

George Burns, OB1, Aslan – A TALKING LION… all not real characters.

The most embarrassing part of the evangelical elite is that when we want it to look like God stepped up and broke through the barriers of the red curtain of Hollywood cinema we stick our bare butts out there and call it ordained!

“THE LORD WAS ALL OVER THAT!  AND I CAN SEE HOW THE TRINITY WAS SLAYING THAT FIGHT SCENE WITH TRUTH! AMEN! PRAISE JESUS! HE WAS ALLOWED IN THAT MOVIE!”

Please. Sit. Down.

Jim Caviezel wasn’t really Jesus.

Mel Gibson is still a lunatic.  I believe He loves Jesus, so do I… yet sometimes I am still a butthead.

Dear Christians, you can let Jesus be Jesus.  I find it hard to believe that anyone who goes to see The Shack will burn in hell because they take on the assumption God is a black woman. Also, if they see a glimpse of a loving Father… He will gladly take them to the finish line of Truth.  Cause He’s THE LORD.

I stand by this because the real Jesus is… the real Jesus.  He knew about The Shack when He breathed His last and His last words were, “It is finished…” NOT: “CUT!!!  WAIT! I WAS GOING TO DIE FOR HUMANITY BUT NOT IF THEY ARE GOING TO MISREPRESENT ME IN CINEMA!!! AND I AM GETTING DOWN FROM HERE IF AMERICA ALLOWS HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE! OH! AND I WANT A CHRISTMAS TREE ON MY STARBUCKS CUP! SOMEONE CALL MY AGENT!”

Now then, let us all go back to our happy place.

The Shack is fiction.

I am happy to be a fool for the Gospel… The Shack isn’t the Gospel so you can love it or hate it and not be a fool.

Santa Claus is not real, Satan is.  He’d be happy to use you and your high horse to make non-believers think we are morons.

[Tweet “Santa Claus is not real, Satan is. He’d be happy to use you and your high horse to make non-believers think we are morons.”]

Star Wars is better than Star Trek.

They will know we are Christians by our love… and hopefully our sanity.

Let Jesus be Jesus and may the force be with you.

May your floors be sticky and your movies have happy endings. Love, Jami

Mark 8:29 “Who do you say I am?”

You might also like: Go and Don’t Believe

Share this and share the love!!!

 

 

Please follow and like us: