Great Lies I Tell: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Elvis, & Jesus 3
Parenting

Great Lies I Tell: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Elvis, & Jesus

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I tell great lies, crazy unbelievable tales, no sane person would believe, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Elvis, and Jesus.  These stories are far-fetched, to say the least, but my children who trust me, they believe.

Don’t you dare? Don’t even start with me, missy! Puh-lease! You know you do it, your face will stick like that, the Tooth-Fairy, and The Great Pumpkin?  Well, that last one isn’t a thing, but the others…

All the great moms lie.  And if you’ve read this blog more than once I can assume you know:

  1. I am not that great, but I get by,  just barely.
  2. I use whatever cheap tactics I can to get through the day.

So this is the truth, this blog was inspired by my brother’s delicate verbalization describing my phone voes to me.

Me: So you are saying that my phone doesn’t work and it is my fault?

Michael: I am saying that choices you have made have contributed to your phone’s inability to work in the intended capacity for which it was created.

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Pro parent 101:  Wording is everything.

And I have a new batch of babies. And I can’t decide if I am lying too much, or not enough, and I am questioning lies of old.  Starting with Santa.

Our Luke, he’s the stuff real parents are made of, and he too inspired this line of thinking.  He hit the ground challenging all that we knew about our parenting abilities.  He was our third and he continues to rock our world.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Pro Parent Tip 101: Wording is everything. To #Santa or not to Santa. #bahumbug” quote=”Pro Parent Tip 101: Wording is everything. To #Santa or not to Santa. #bahumbug”]

When Luke started to question Santa’s existence and we sat down to have “the talk” with him he responded with: “So, should I assume you lied about Jesus too?” To which we were utterly horrified and then he refused to attend church with us while he, “decided for himself what the truth was since he obviously couldn’t trust us.

He was 9.

Yep, that’s my son.

And yes, again for you loyal followers, he is the one we shipped to military school when he was 15 because, oh Lord, the Marines were the only ones who could make him stay in his room.  And, I double dog dare you to judge me out loud. If you decide to trudge down this dangerous indisposition of parenting: “I would never…” or “You should…” please include your email address so I can attach the necessary paperwork for you to enroll your child in military school.

Just don’t.  NEVER SAY NEVER.

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I digress, what to do about the vandals, our adopted 3 and 5-year-old sons, and Santa… I truly struggle with this.  Because it isn’t true. Furthermore, it is a big lie and confusing.  “Don’t sit on stranger’s laps… well unless it is a guy in a Santa suit.  Sit on his lap and tell him all your hopes and dreams, I will dash them later.”

And yes, it is all in fun and tradition.  And I know that it shouldn’t be that big of a deal… and I am old to start changing things up now.

With the original batch of kids, we padded our traditional tall tale with the story of the real St. Nick, but the vandals birth into our family began with a tragedy.  And I feel I owe them something… different.

 

And I tell other stories to them. If you could only see the goopy wax that comes out of Sam’s ears.  This stuff is insane.  And, it is brown.  So when he was about 6 months old I took him to the pediatrician and bemoaned my concern.  “It’s brown!” and the pediatrician said, “Yeah, just wipe it out with a warm washcloth.” and I said, “Is it brown because he is Mexican?  Like, does it look like that because of his skin color?” and the pediatrician gave me a record book’s technical, “You are a moron” look and said,

clint eastwood

“No.”

Fair enough, I didn’t know?

But, this is nuclear waste wax.  And now that he’s coming up on 6 it is harder and harder to hold him down to clean it.  So, I lie.  “Time to get the spiders out of your ears!” Sam hates spiders.

Oh, don’t look at me like that.

He will drop what he is doing and lay down and let me dig that goop out with a shovel.  And! In all fairness, since the birth of the “spiders in your ears” lie, he has stopped having ear infections. I can put the wax dissolving ear drops in his ears and therefore, it was in his best interest for me to lie in order to get the sludge out of his ears.

Whatever, we will get him the appropriate counseling when he’s ready.  But, surely some of you would agree, you do what ya gotta do.

I guess I can’t stop thinking about how hard the teen years are.  The identity crisis, even with my easier teens, is somewhat unavoidable.  And the vandals are little.  I hope to teach them, like the children before them, that their true identity is in Christ, but I also know – this is their reality to embrace.  You can lead a horse to water, ya da ya da ya da.

When the vandals begin to hit thirteen, I’ll be 54. Dealing with 13-year-old, adopted, sons will be a whole new territory.  And they are cute and cuddly now and the community thinks it so dear that we have opened our homes. But, I am curious about how a community embraces adoptive families when these babies are at their most difficult? Or are questioning traditions, their identity, or Jesus?

And I know they need to know they are adopted, but I don’t want that to be their whole identity.  As Christians, we are all adopted.  In 40 years, I want them to describe themselves as Christ seeking men, who love Jesus; men who came to serve, not be served.

And their adoption into our family?  A tiny portion of the magnitude of their existence and their impact on the least of these.

So, I cannot decide.  And I guess I have some time. But I want them to trust us, and I want them to have traditions. I want them to have balance. As their mother, I want them to know who they are, where they came from, and why we raised them in a home that believes that Jesus is the Messiah.

Sure, I know they’ll be raised to believe that the ice cream truck only plays music when it’s out of ice cream and that balloons are a creation from the devil. I know these things haven’t damaged the grown children too badly… but Santa, and the other lies?  I readily admit I just don’t know.

And I guess I’ll decide later, right now I must go get the spiders out of Sam’s ears.

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami

“Yet to all who received Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God–“ John 1:12

You might also like:  A Day in the Life of Mom: The WHOLE TRUTH

and How to be a cool GOOD mom in a BAD mom world…

What’s on your Christmas list????  #stolenjesus

 

I am in love with these super cute super soft infinity scarfs/knit caps!  Never have another bad hair day!!!!!

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click on the photo to get yours and never have another bad hair day!!!


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14 Comments

  1. Joelle says:

    Haha you are so awesome! Yes, because of my sisters reaction to my parents good natured “lies” about Santa Easter bunny and tooth fairy and her confusion about them and Jesus, I decided early to tell my kids that Santa Easter bunny tooth fairy are all super fun games that we like to play- from their earliest ages- but that Jesus is really our Savior and not a game. . Once they got old enough to figure out what that meant they had been able to participate as much as they wanted to and it seemed to work out better. My youngest asked me with big eyes on the day she realized what we had been saying all of those years…. “so are you EVeryONeS tooth fairy? Or just mine?” LOL. So precious. Jami,You are such a good momma and writer and I’m thankful for your voice/perspective/humor/realness and that you share it with us.
    Blessings to yall

    1. jami_amerine says:
  2. My mom tells the story of when she told me the truth about Santa that I was so upset she had to wait until the next day to tell me about the Easter Bunny. Then I came to her the following day and asked about the Tooth Fairy . Then she said the following day I appeared in her room late at night with tears running down my cheeks and said “I really loved Jesus and I’m really going to miss Him!” That’s when she said “never again!” from now on we tell all our children it’s a game we play. Jesus is the REAL DEAL and all the others are fun games we must never tell other children, because they might not know it’s a game yet. It’s their parents responsibility to reveal it’s a game, not ours. This worked well for my 3 children as well.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Ugh. That’s so sad.

  3. Thank you for keeping it real!
    I once told my then 3 year old son (he’s 11 now) who wouldn’t take his medicine orally that If he didn’t stop wiggling and screaming we’d take him to the hospital and they would administer said medicine by needle into his eyeball. I’m not proud but it worked. xx

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Word.

    2. Donna Flores says:

      We totally do this too!!!!

  4. Donna Flores says:

    O my goodness, we just had the tooth fairy talk with my 7 yr old this past week…followed a few moments later by Santa. With the eldest, we didn’t do tooth fairy takes teeth. First we didn’t have the money, and second–as you said–lies.
    At story time, a dentist’s aide was the guest story reader, and the story included …tooth fairy. Ugh. My 8 yr old gets it, but the 7 yr old was really hoping she would get money or goodies for her teeth. She hasn’t lost any yet. Sad, sad girl. Santa she was okay with him being not quite real. Easter Bunny has never visited our home. I did encourage them to not tell anyone else. I don’t need to be “that” family. Killing Santa and tooth fairy for everyone.

    The ear thing. Whatever works. Tell them anything to get that stuff out!! One pediatrician told our two oldest, then toddler, girls she wanted to look for bunnies in their ears. The eldest was in hysterics until I told her repeatedly (like for a month afterward) that there were no bunnies in her ears. We never went back to that pediatrician.

  5. Marina says:

    Jami, I love your blogs! They always make me laugh out loud! Wow, you really got me thinking. I don’t remember questioning whether or not my parents had told me the truth about Jesus when I found out about Santa. I also have older kids and a few littles now. I’ll definetely be asking my older kids if that crossed their minds, might be doing things a little differently from here on out! Thank you so much for being real and your refreshing honesty!

  6. Your blog is fantastic and your heart even better. I never wanted to have to tell my kids I was lying about Santa, nor selfishly did I want to give him credit for the gifts I was buying, lol. So we kept it real and told them he wasn’t real and he wasn’t the reason that we celebrated. We told them it was fine for others to celebrate what they wanted and they were not to tell their friends he wasn’t real. And then we focused on the awesome part of Christmas, which is that Jesus the Savior of the world was born in a pretty unique and remarkable way and that he came to help and love a very broken world. We focused our celebrations on it being Jesus’ birthday and had a great time doing it, Our kids are not 11 and 13 and have grown up just fine :).

    1. Haha, meant our kids are now 11 and 13 🙂

  7. I am all about Santa and the Tooth Fairy etc, We even have a Candy Fairy who comes after Halloween and Easter and takes the candy away to feed her babies. As they get older and learn the truth we haven’t yet had one get mad, but I also have one (#4 of 5) that I pray the military will channel his rage and anger and use it for our good. Thanks for the heads up on how that conversation may go…

    PS I tell my kids we had to get the “frog poop” out of their ears.

  8. […] I really do love it.  Maybe that is the only reason behind my need to continue to invite people to live with me?  I love children’s books.  And I do love to read to my little people.  Among my other […]

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