The “A**” Kicking That Taylor Swift is Giving To “Allegedly"
Jami For the Record, Life Musings

The “A**” Kicking That Taylor Swift is Giving To “Allegedly”

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*please note the references to profanity are quotes from Taylor and are important as often victims are ashamed to repeat these things they are told not to say. As was the case with me.

The “A**” Kicking That Taylor Swift is Giving To “Allegedly” An Important Message for Our Daughters & Sons
Taylor Swift is not backing down. In a recent and twisted courtroom drama where she is being sued for getting a guy fired for reporting that he groped her, (the nerve right,) she counter sued him because… he groped herYou can read about here. 

His story has changed.

Hers hasn’t.

And there are pictures to prove her story.

There were no pictures to prove my story.

My story “allegedly” happened. No one ever got in trouble. I had no proof, and I questioned the validity of it every day… until now.  Dear daddy, please don’t read this.

My story was 80% verbal assault that went on Monday through Friday. First period, homeroom, Pre-Algebra.  I was failing.  I was horrible at math.  Seriously.  But these circumstances didn’t help.

The boy-monster in question was a star ballplayer.

He smelled like armpit, cheese food, Polo cologne, and morning breath. He sat behind me. He would lean forward while the teacher was going over the assignment and “allegedly” say the most filthy things, to this day I have ever heard in my entire life.

When I went to the teacher to complain she would insist I tell her SPECIFICALLY what he said and when I could not, she dismissed me.  Once after I attempted to tattle on him, I left red-faced and humiliated, completely unable to utter the words he had said to me. The teacher and word rapist stood chattering about the game over the weekend, and she said, “I think she just has a crush on you but doesn’t everybody?!?!” and they both laughed.

I asked to be moved.

She said no.

He would put his hand or foot under my bottom, unhook my bra, and whisper disgusting suggestions in my ear. To further my captivity to his abuse, he tightened his grip by insinuating he could smell when I was on my period or whether I had showered. When I say sat down he would put his hand on my seat and then whisper things to me throughout class about his discoveries.

This issue is paramount as I was so mortified I didn’t have the voice I felt I needed to 1. Express myself and 2. Further expose myself. Classic of a predator.

On one occasion I got up the nerve, and after class, I walked up to her and said, “He did it again!” He stood with a smirk on his face. “He said he wanted to &*$# me and $#^% my#$%^.” And he said, “OH MY GOSH! I WOULD NEVER SAY SUCH A THING!  I JUST GOT BAPTISED!”

And she sent me to the office.

I allegedly lied.

[clickToTweet tweet=”I allegedly lied.” quote=”I allegedly lied #taylorswift.”]

This is how I spent my junior year allegedly abused. Humiliated, degraded, questioning my sanity, my right to privacy, worth, dignity, and value as compared to a line backer.

What Taylor Swift is doing that is FANTASTIC  calling an A** an A**.  That is her hiney.  It is no small thing, well, it is she is like a size two, but that isn’t the point. She could have easily convinced herself boys will be boys. She could have talked herself into a corner, “maybe it was an accident,” or “don’t make a scene.” But instead, she cried “WOLF!!!!”  And she meant it.

And we have to do this.  We have to tell our girls to speak up.  And frankly, our boys too.  She is being bold because allegedly doesn’t protect our precious babies’ bodies from these types of assaults. I don’t normally write about this type of thing, but I think it is important.

I love her ferociousness.

I love that even though it is hard, and yes, there are tears, she is taking it to the mat and not letting a bully get away with grabbing her. Which he did out of to belittle her, no matter what he says.

Make no mistake, let your sons and daughters know there is no allegedly when it comes to their comfort or peace of mind.  My scenario should have been as simple as “NO, you listen up you crazy Algebra tart, you will move me to a different location in this classroom where I can attempt to solve for X, albeit unsuccessfully, without being verbally assaulted on a daily basis, or I will sue you and this district from whence you impart…mmmmk?” Under no circumstances should I have had to repeat what I was visibly shaken by and reporting to a female teacher as “disturbing sexual remarks.” What was a 16-year-old girl to say to this woman?

Unfortunately, we cannot always be certain the scenarios where our children can find a safe haven to report abuse so we must equip them for some of the most outlandish things known to man. Certainly Taylor Swift never imagined she would be sued for getting groped.

Let our children never grow weary of speaking up for themselves! Go get em Taylor!

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami

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21 Comments

  1. Candy says:

    Amen and hallelujah. And I’m so sorry you had to put up with that s*#t.

  2. Glenna McKelvie says:

    Oh, Jami… I sobbed as I read this. As your mom, of course
    I know this story now, but I didn’t know it then. (Were you
    afraid you would have to tell me “word for word” what that
    wretched boy said? Because trust me, No!) I wish I could
    go back, re-wind and be your “mama bear” and fight for you. Send your Dad to raise Cain! Storm the halls of the
    High School to defend you!
    When you were a baby and your Dad wad in school, I waitressed and was horribly sexually harrased by tge cooks! When I complained, I was told tgat waitresses were a dime a dozen– cooks were not–“Get over it!”
    Go Taylor Swift!

  3. Terry K. says:

    I have always liked Taylor Swift. She seems to be a genuinely good person amid the horror that is our current entertainment industry. It doesn’t surprise me that she is pursuing the high road in this case. Hopefully our society is beginning to take this type of behavior seriously and holding the offenders accountable. Since she has been brave enough to speak up, and keep speaking up, hopefully our children can feel strong enough to speak up too. Our precious children shouldn’t have to endure these challenges along with all the others they face in this world. I agree – You Go, Taylor!!

  4. {hugs} to you, my sweet friend. May you never stop speaking up.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      ❤️

  5. I didn’t speak up when i should have in my own situation. It’s hard! But it is my absolute goal to equip my daughters with the ability to speak up and change the situation. Go Taylor!!

  6. Ellen says:

    It is also good to make sure daughters (and granddaughters) know we will take up any battle that is too much for them. My brother used to ask his youngest daughter when she had a problem at school, “Do you want the troll to come out from under the bridge?” If she said , “I can handle it, Daddy,” he’d say, “are you sure?” If she smiled and nodded, he’d say, “well, call if you need me.” She was empowered , but also knew if things got out of hand that she was not alone.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      I love that.

  7. Marla says:

    I am so sorry you had to endure that horrific behavior! There are no words for the way it makes me feel. As a teacher, I am appalled by your teacher’s attitude. Thanks be to God that you have risen above that.

  8. Debbie Sudrovech says:

    I am completely impressed with Taylor’s strength and grace.
    Her strength to stand up and willingly in a very public eye, confront this man and fight the good fight til it’s done. Not only for herself…but for all the girls,boys,women and, as well who suffer silently in shame. She is an awesome role model.
    And her grace? This man is suing HER for millions. She has counter sued for $1.00. Yes…one single dollar.
    She has absolutely nothing to gain out of this, and it’s costing her time and money to stand up for what is right. God love her, her mom and dad raised a good daughter . she this is all over, no matter what the outcome, she will truly be able to say..
    2 Timothy 47
    7 I have fought the good fight, I have stayed the course, I have kept the faith

    And so can you, Jami

    1. jami_amerine says:

      She’s pretty cool. Thanks, Debbie.

  9. Susan says:

    I hope the linebacker has a daughter now.
    Praying peace for you.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Bahahaha!

      1. Laurie says:

        I hope not. Men like that always find a victim, and sometimes it’s someone they are related to.

  10. elizabeth edens says:

    I would ask, what girl out there hasn’t been the subject of inappropriate behavior at one time or another. It is shameful and until we teach or children differently, with no excuses, it will continue.

    Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story.

  11. Mercedes Jenkins says:

    ❤️ to you! Abuse of any kind, to be tolerated is akin to being an accomplice. Thank you for being vulnerable, in sharing and encouraging all of us, specially moms, to not back down and stand up in grace, we have some tough situations, as well as, our sons and daughters to face in life. Peace.

  12. […] article originally appeared at Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors. Follow Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors on […]

  13. Tanya says:

    Thank you for speaking up. 30 years later and I’ve only been able to speak up to two or three trusted people about what happened to me.

  14. Joelle says:

    I spoke up to my female manager when I was a waitress and was told with an eye roll that she would take care of it. Then the next day at the staff meeting she announced it with out saying my name but inferring and she talked about it like it was ridiculous. nothing else was done. I felt unsafe and had to quit my much needed job. I also know someone very close to me who just didn’t have the words to speak up. It’s gut wrenching as a friend or parent that sometimes our people don’t know how to say I need help but but god when they do I am SOOOO listening and so very there. Thanks for writing this.

    1. Joelle says:

      By God**

  15. YES and more YES! This is so true. I had two older brothers so when the teenage boy slapped my a** as I walked past, I turned around and punched him in the face and knocked him down…only to have his friends retaliate by saying “smack” every time I walked by them in the hallway. My reaction to an older man doing the same thing a year later was fear and uncertainty and so it continued. I will teach my children that I will listen and they have a right to protect their bodies (including their ears) from abuse. Shared with my blog readers…again, wonderful writing.

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