NEW DISCOVERY: 30 More Minutes of Super Mario Can Stop Chronic Nose Bleeds
Jami For the Record, Snarky Mischief

NEW DISCOVERY: 30 More Minutes of Super Mario Can Stop Chronic Nose Bleeds

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Our 5-year-old vandal son suffers from nose bleeds.  Seriously, when the mucous membranes in this child’s nose are void of humidity, it’s like a scene from a Stephen King movie.  He’s actually getting a little more accustomed to the onset.  A few weeks ago if his nose started bleeding he would lose control of his bowels.

Fun times.

You can’t really blame him; it’s a significant amount of blood.  Once, my husband accidentally ran over a kitten in front of our children with his huge diesel pickup. It was kind of like stepping on a ketchup packet.  There was less blood and fewer counseling sessions involved in the graphic demise of Fluffy than when Sam’s nose bleeds.

But just the other night we got to the root of the harrowing nasal hemorrhages.  Sam and his partner in crime, our 3-year-old Charlie, came running.

Sam: MOMMY! I gots a bleedy nose!
Me: Oh gosh, come here!

I sprung to action, grabbing a box of Kleenex, rain slickers, and a tarp.
Sam: Dis is cause I didn’t gets to pway on da compooter! See! You said no compooter and now I gots a bleedy nose!
Me: Samuel Michael, there is no scientific evidence that no computer causes nose bleeds.
Charlie: boogers?
Sam: ya! I bets dats why dares boogers!

I was too tired to engage in vandal logic this late in the evening.
Me: Okay, enough!  Go to bed vandals!!!

I shoved a nostril sized tourniquet up Sam’s nose.

“Wait!” Charlie begged, “I can’t sweep wifout a booger blocker from no compooter!”

http://wp.me/p72ohk-2Np

Void of all reason, yet… I could kind of see where it made perfect sense.

Not really.

Yesterday I had an “emotional” email from a woman who saw the blurb on Amazon about my book, which will be released in October.  Sometimes, I wake-up in the middle of the night and open my Amazon app and type in “Jami Amerine.”

And then I think… “OH MY STOLEN JESUS.”

That’s my book, well – mine and Jesus’ book.

And no, I am not a preacher or some wise savant, but I can take a nose bleed and some Kindergarten logic and compare it to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

[Tweet “I can take a nose bleed & some #Kindergarten logic & compare it to the gospel of #JesusChrist”]

Boom.

It makes no sense.

I agree.  Jesus came and died and now I am blameless.

I am the worst.

While I was still the worst, He suffered the most bloody and horrific death, so that I would no longer be separated from God.

This inheritance set me free from the slavery of the Law.  Now, I walk in the freedom of the relationship of daughter to the Creator of the Universe.  He desired me unto His only son’s brutal death.

But the description of my book hurt this woman.  She was mad and disappointed to read the blurb stating I was excommunicated from the Mormon Church as a child.  I have already had a few of these outbursts and the book isn’t out yet… I predict it will only increase.

We want answers.  We want a reasonable explanation when something happens that infiltrates what we believe… and more than anything we want to be able to explain and stand firm in those beliefs, especially when they have brought us some level of peace.

Certainly, I won’t be able to do that with every person that disagrees with me.  And there are fragrant, melodious, and whimsical words that were used to carve out the lines in Stolen Jesus. There are references, documents, mysteries, and memories that make up the pieces of my journey to this place.

[Tweet “there are fragrant, melodious & whimsical words that were used to carve out the lines in #StolenJesus”]

Of all the words that have been hammered away on this keyboard none make less sense and heal more wounds than my most favorite… Jesus.

I wonder how many times in the last 26 months I have typed His name?

And I woke at 4:00 am today, no post intended, thinking about the words that were sent to me from an upset and offended woman who was terribly disappointed in the blurb and me.  Words like prophet, Joseph Smith, doctrine, and apostate – and I have been there.  And we can go around and around but there is only one answer for me.

Jesus.

For years I too have tried to make sense of the craziness. Who simply dies for the unworthy?  A friend or hero, certainly… but the wicked?

Nope, it makes no sense.  We add, subtract, and revamp in the hopes it might be justified, earned, or somehow better, clearer, less of an anomaly.  One plus one equals two. And if you try hard enough and work through, highlight, memorize and contort it might seem like you finally have something you can live with; something that makes sense and is justifiable.

Unfortunately, that much hubaloo only takes the focus off the Savior and puts it back in the feeble hands of the humans He died to save.

Perhaps I will have opportunities to defend myself. The book will divulge more otherwise it wouldn’t be a book… just a blurb.  But if I had only one word, if I were asked to ever defend what set me free, what makes my smile, what is my greatest joy, hope and gladness; If tomorrow you took my Bible, Thesaurus, pen, paper, laptop or iPhone and asked me to defend the core of every belief that brings life and soul to this eclectic brain and sanguine soul… simply stated and in triumphant and confused logic I would answer:  Jesus.

Like a five-year-old out of time on the iPad – I stand firm in the nonsense of the Cross – the solution to the problem is the opposite of reasonable or fair and His name is Jesus.

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

Matthew 20:16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

You might also like The Christian Confidential and An Open Letter to my Children: You’re Not that Great

SEASON TWO OF THE EASY WIFE IS COMING SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES OR SOUND CLOUD!

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6 Comments

  1. Julie says:

    The name above ALL names!
    The beauty is – we do not have to defend Him, in fact it is He that defended us on the cross!
    We are not called to defend Him but to reflect Him.
    Jesus did not reach everyone. He did not appeal to everyone. He didn’t defend Himself either.
    You my friend are doing what you have been called to do! You are a blessing to so many of us who eagerly look forward to reading your blog. Keep being you sister! Have an amazing day!

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Thanks Julie! ❤

  2. Glenna McKelvie says:

    When I was a new Christian–about 39 years ago– I could not wait to share, thus shout His name from the roof tops! I was so surprised when people that I knew and loved thought I was crazy and my own mother thought I was evil! And yet, doesn’t the Bible tell us to expect this? A little controversy should reassure you that you are on the right track.

  3. Hello! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m definitely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

    1. Jami says:

      yes @jamiamerine

  4. Tonie says:

    I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one today..

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