I shave my legs every single time I get wet. It is an obsessive compulsive act. The rest of my appearance can be a hot mess. My legs are shaved. Recently, as I wandered through a department store and I cringed as I observed the whimsical sundresses, shorts, flowing blouses, and oh, please not yet, swim suits. Pops of bright colors barked the impending warm weather and whispered exposure to me. I lamented the sad state of my hiney. Away from my seven children, dear husband, and the usualness of my day, my body and brain stopped in front of a faceless size 4 mannequin in a pink cotton strapless dress.
Motionless, I stood. My thoughts and my demeanor differed from the plastic mannequin only in my ability to breathe and her ability to wear a size 4. I was released from my stupor by an older woman’s voice.
“Time to shave your legs, huh?”
I curiously examined the mannequin, and then quickly realized the voice came from behind me.
“Sorry?” I inquired. The tiny bent woman with a walker and freshly styled blue hair chuckled. “Sweet girl, the look on your face! Did you think the mannequin was speaking?”
I laughed, “Only for a second.”
“You sure look stressed. That outfit would look lovely on you. Don’t look so worried. Just buy it, shave your legs and go for it!”
“Oh, you’re too kind. Actually, I habitually shave my legs. I actually thought it wouldn’t look as fresh and lovely in a size 14.”
She looked me up and down. “Shaving your legs is easier than changing sizes! There will always be something you wish was different. Easy stuff and hard stuff, stay alert and do your best.” She shuffled away.
I abandoned my shopping and crossed the street to a café` for a cup of coffee.
There always is something I wish was different
Stuff I can control, like hair growth, isn’t provoked by the temperature outside. Stuff I feel like I can’t harness? New Year’s has come and gone. Another season and a little more wear and tear. And, I wish to be prepared to do anything, especially that which God has called me to.
But I continually feel a new season sneaking up on me, and I am caught off guard.
Everything keeps moving forward. It occurs to me I am in a constant state of waiting for a new season or for some things to be different. And perhaps it is a resolution, conclusion, epiphany, or seasonal dysfunction disorder. However, I want to embrace the journey of preparedness instead of always coveting the next season or change.
My legs are shaved but my thighs aren’t swimsuit ready? So I have conquered one strong hold, but not another? But such is a season as this, I continually seek to be better. And along with my silky smooth legs, Jesus is consistent. And He makes me want to be better. He makes me want to be prepared for anything. Perhaps in this season, I will try something new. I want to stop counting it as lost, here too quick or less than ideal. Instead, I hope to embrace the season as a continuing education in my pursuits to know, love, and serve Jesus?
As desperately as I would love to be fully ready all the time, I will embrace a season of trying.
I picked up my bag and marched back across the street and bought the pink dress, in the size I wear right now. I will keep trying. I will keep seeking. I will keep shaving. And I will embrace my Jesus in such a season as this.
May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami
“To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)