Grow up
Parenting

What to be When You Grow Up

What to be When You Grow Up Yesterday at our two youngest sons’ school, it was “Dress-Up As Who You Want to be When You Grow Up” day. Red Ribbon Week is killer.  I had curated 10 outfits that coincide with the day’s apparel. Actually, I am pretty impressed with myself.  Not only was I fully cognizant of the week’s events, but I am also fully prepared. Today they are going to school in their pajamas. I am best at …

Stinking Scared: The Smell of Fear
Just Jesus

Stinking Scared: The Smell of Fear

What does fear smell like?  I imagine something comes to mind. Yesterday, the oldest vandal, our son Sam came stumbling from his bedroom.  Sleepy hair stood on end, he yawned and scratched his bum. “Good morning Sam.” I chirped. “Mom,” he yawned. “What’s dat smell I smell wook like?” The smell he smelled looked like blueberry muffins, which I had just pulled from the oven. This morning… I was rocking it. This morning smelled fantastic. Until it didn’t. [clickToTweet tweet=”The #smell of …

How to Raise a Loser: A Step by Step Action Plan for Parents
Parenting

How to Raise a Loser: A Step by Step Action Plan for Parents

In the midst of being a mom of seven, the revelations are exhausting, parents heed the warning. At 3:30 a.m. I received a text from a college-baby.  Actually, four texts, one I may have slept through. College-Baby:  I slipped and fell at work and landed on my butt. College-Baby: I can’t sleep it hurts so bad. College-Baby: I think my tailbone is broken. College-Baby: Or maybe just badly bruised… but I cannot sleep I am in so much pain. Me:  …

Salvation of a Mom… 4
Parenting

Salvation of a Mom…

The salvation of a mom is harder for a mother to embody. You see, tonight my soul is spread seven ways; serving Pizza and beer at a high-end joint downtown. It’s on a date that’s not a date but might be a date at a later date if it weren’t for all the history of dates that date back to play dates. It is at an undisclosed party … not answering texts, but at least it got a haircut and …

Stuff I Wish You'd Quit Saying: OH, You Just Have One? 2

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: OH, You Just Have One?

Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: OH, You Just Have One? I have six… children that is. As a mother of six, I want to know why when a mom of many says to you, “Oh, you JUST have one?” you don’t PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT??? Can I just say? This is this most insulting comment one mother can say to another mother.  Basically, you are saying… “That’s all you could muster?” Let me start by apologizing for us. …