skinny jeans fat knees

Skinny Jeans, Fat Knees: A Study in Self Loathing

Skinny Jeans, Fat Knees: A Study in Self Loathing Who here is ready for the skinny jean fad to go ahead and get on its way? The very term, “skinny jeans” is a play on everything that was meant to be good about jeans. My 16-year-old daughter looks fantastic in them. And while I am calling out “Amens,” what cruel fresh hot sauce is it that about the time a woman must lift her breasts up from around her waist …

Get a Bikini Ready Body In Two Easy Steps

Get a Bikini Ready Body In Two Easy Steps

Get a bikini ready body.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t frequent the Dr. Oz page.   The desire starts early.  Our fourteen-year-old just performed in a recital and when she watched the video after she said, “Oh my gosh, my abs are a mess.” While choosing her swimsuit, she lamented the same. For the better part of 45 years, I have been discriminating my body and wondering when I would finally be okay with it.  Even if …

God and Weight Loss: Get Skinny for Jesus

I love Jesus and I am on a diet for weight loss… constantly.  This is how me and my muffin top roll. I want to be #skinny4jesus, even though that’s not what He asked of me. I overheard this conversation between the vandals, my three and five-year-old sons as they ate popsicles on the porch with my nephew, their cousin Riley. Sam: My mom loves popswickels. Charlie:  Yeah, herm wuvs dem. Riley: My mom likes dem, and she’s pretty. Sam: …

The #1 Beauty Secret... seriously you can't look better than this

The #1 Beauty Secret… seriously you can’t look better than this

Day 23: When I was in 7th grade (at the rat tail end of the 80’s) I was not allowed to wear make-up yet. So I secretly (but not so subtly) applied it at school. Pink frosted lip gloss (a shimmery glue-like substance) and bold blue eye shadow were my weapons of choice to woo the boys (who were a foot shorter than me…convenient). I felt grown-up, but I looked like a clown. Don’t get me started on the bangs …

It’s a Shame You’re Enormous, You Have Such a Pretty-Face...

It’s a Shame You’re Enormous, You Have Such a Pretty-Face…

Ah… pretty-face syndrome. It’s a blessing and a curse. Although, of all the cruel things ever said to me the one that still reverberates in my soul took place at a summer camp where I worked after high school graduation. A young girl name Twyla, with a gift for saying everything inappropriate, was hanging on me with a multitude of other smelly 11-year-old girls.  Some pawed at my waist long hair, others asked questions about boys, high school, French-kissing, getting …