Dear Mean Mommy, Give Yourself a Break 1
Parenting

Dear Mean Mommy, Give Yourself a Break

I am a mean mommy. Did I not hope to be sweet, tender … joyful?  Certainly, this isn’t true? Surely, that can’t be the core of who I am, my entire identity? – is this what I went into the business of motherhood to be labeled as? In my most uptight and fitful moments, with poop in my hair, spit-up on my shirt, federal student aid on the phone, and mystery meat in the crock-pot… I blame myself. With an …

"Natural" Childbirth: Anniversary Edition 
Parenting

“Natural” Childbirth: Anniversary Edition 

I am old. This is what the new batch of our babies have to look forward to. They have an old mom. And she’s way behind the times. They will to go school with kids that were birthed into swimming pools… In their living rooms!  Y’all can’t fathom, this will be a generation of children who expect big things. In my day an inflatable pool meant PARTY. If you let your newborn arrive on the planet into an inflatable swimming …

Dear New Year Mom: FEAR NOT 2017
Parenting

Dear New Year Mom: FEAR NOT 2017

I know. Me too. What is this elusive, invisible time line lurking days away, where all of the sudden I will be different than before the stroke of midnight? If time is of the essence, why am I marginally out of time? Very little makes sense in my world. While trying to make dinner I was unable to locate a two-pound block of cheese. I asked the residents of my household “where’s the cheddar?” and one answered, “On the staircase.” …

Dear Christmas Mom, 1
Parenting

Dear Christmas Mom,

I know. Me too. It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year… but moms get the reindeer booty-end, don’t we? And I know, good mommies don’t say such words.  But tonight at dinner, I found myself bawling “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY SHUT UP!!!!” My two-year-old said flatly, “Mommy! Calm down missy!” One more trip to the dollar store, one more brave quest to the market… just one more thing for one more …

My Child Doesn’t Believe in God…
Parenting

My Child Doesn’t Believe in God…

When our son Luke was 6 he asked if Santa was real. Luke was our 3rd child. His older brother and sister were already privy to the truth. So I knew he knew. I did the little bit about the real Saint Nick and why we do what we do. Yada. Yada. Yada. And Luke, being all Luke said a very Luke thing: Did you lie about Jesus too? Needless to say, with our younger children… we aren’t into Santa.  …

The Evolution of Chill 6
Parenting

The Evolution of Chill

I am neither the best mom nor am I the worst.  We don’t have a perfect family… but I think we are getting by just fine. I am pretty chill. This is a miracle. For a long time, family members were suspicious that I was going to be my Grandma Jean incarnate.  And Grandma Jean was a hot mess. In all fairness, some of the lunacy was spurred on by shock treatments. That is another story in itself. My dad …