Why I am Not a Fan of Mother's Day 1
Parenting

Why I am Not a Fan of Mother’s Day

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I have never been a fan of Mother’s Day.

Today, the day before Mother’s Day is the 22nd anniversary of my motherhood.  Our oldest daughter turns 22 today and graduates from my alma mater, Abilene Christian University.  She was in the audience when I graduated from ACU, she was one.

And I remember my first Mother’s Day, on the 5th floor of a sterile hospital room with a brown eyed baby girl. The young mom in the bed next to me said, “What did you name your baby?” I proudly chirped, “Mary Margaret!” and she scowled and said, “Eww, that’s strange.” Unaffected by her censure I politely volleyed the contest, “I guess, I like old fashioned names.  What did you name your baby?”

“Alaska Dawn, like a morning sunrise… in Alaska.”

Ya.

I really didn’t need that explained to me, Magellan… but uh, this is Texas, and I know for a fact your baby was born at 2:45 in the afternoon.

We had nothing left to discuss after that and soon it was time to go.


For the rest of my days, it was time for something.

Time to feed, time to nap, crying time, time to wean, time to crawl, time to walk, time to eat, time to change, time to play… time to go to school.

This is what I had waited my entire life for, to be a mom.  And now the time had come and the seconds ticked away at a time when Maggie would no longer need me and the job I had waited a lifetime for, would be over.

This never sat well with me.  Of course, I wanted her to grow and become the beautiful young woman she is, but I hated the ticking of the clock that forever marked off time toward the finish line of my dreams.

Granted, even as they leave the nest, they still call me mom, and I am still wholeheartedly mother, but it is certainly different than it was on that first Mother’s Day.

But on that first Mother’s Day, I knew one thing for sure, I never wanted Maggie to feel she owed me something.  I never wanted her to feel as if she must pay a debt to me because I loved her first.  And I saw other moms take offense when they weren’t showered with gifts, rest, and breakfast in bed – and I promise, that’s fine, you do your thing and I will do mine.  But I knew I wanted Maggie to know, she owed me nothing.

It was my pleasure.

The significance of a day is only as grand as the contents acknowledged Click To Tweet

Not only was it my pleasure, the reward wasn’t a day of Hallmark cards and coupons for kisses, the reward was getting to be her mom.

The significance of a day is only as grand as the contents acknowledged.  Today was an insane day.  I spent 4 hours in the ER with a torn calf muscle.  I hobbled into a Mother’s Day tea as the guest speaker.  Ending the day with my foot elevated, hopped up on pain meds- writing a post about why I don’t want to be celebrated.


Today Maggie will be a college graduate.

And, tday John will spend his 66th day at Marine Bootcamp.

I am sure, today Luke will be just as stubborn and fantastic as every day since the first day I met him.

Today Sophie will be as moody as any 14-year-old girl you’ve ever met… and she will fill our home with insane piano pieces, she plays by ear.

And today Sam 5, and Charlie 3, aka the Vandals, will vandalize… they always do.

Today is the last Saturday our foster love will spend in our home… next weekend she will be at her birth home.

No need to praise or pity me… no need to feel an obligation – please only remember – I loved fearlessly.

Seven beings.

Seven days.

Twenty-four hours.

Months, years, seasons, decades… time.

Tomorrow the nation will celebrate moms… but I celebrate my motherhood every day.  I am better off for having loved these people.  Whether they were born of me or not, they each call me mom.

Pieces of me, both good and bad will stay with them.

I will be blamed for some of their troubles; I will be applauded for a few of their hard works.  And I don’t think I am better than someone who loves Mother’s Day – nor do I feel less than if I am not acknowledged.  I personally just don’t need one day of restitution for doing what I love.

Of all the days that clip away, each journey around the sun, I love that I am a mother every single day since 22 years ago today.

May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained.  Love, Jami

Romans 13:8: “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

You just must read TIPS FOR PARENTING

You might also like:

An Open Letter to My Children: You’re Not That Great and a AMAZING MOTHER’S DAY post by my friend Christy Mobley.

 

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25 Comments

  1. I celebrate motherhood every day too. Though, I think once a year it’s nice to reflect on my own Mother, my grandmothers, and what it means to be a mother. I like to donate to a charity that give something back to other mothers around the world, like Buckner International or Breakaway Outreach. That is why Mother’s Day was originally created, for Moms to come together to do good. Still, I love my little handmade gifts and cards, yet I get them all year long so I agree, you don’t need a special day for that 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day Jami! <3

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Happy Mothers Day friend!

  2. Jessica says:

    A perfect summation of being “mom” – and what it should and should not mean! Thank you, for sharing your heart along with your knowledge throughout the week. You make a difference …

  3. Being a mother is the greatest privilege I have known or can imagine. You summed that up so well here. I am approaching the time of being an empty nester and will miss the days of being needed on a regular basis. I love being a mom, even on the hard days. Thanks for this beautiful summation of what it means for many of us to be called mom. Well done!

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Thank you Tracy.

  4. Karen says:

    “I am better off for having loved these people.” Yes!!

    1. jami_amerine says:

      ❤️

  5. Snow says:

    I DO love your THOUGHTS, Jami, so well knitted together – a lovely covering for this day for this eighty-two year old mom!
    Snow

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Happy Mothers Day

  6. Sarah J. says:

    I am at Hilton Head Island right now and was glad to read that your Marine is on his 65th day and tomorrow will be his 66th day of Marine Corps Bootcamp. An uncle of mine and 2 brothers and a nephew of mine all graduated from Marine Corps Bootcamp. I wish I were going to be here when he graduates so I could be in the stands with you even if we didn’t meet. I am proud of your boy and of you. I also really like that your children owe you nothing, because you loved them first. I think my husband does owe me thanks for being a decent mom to his kids. As thanks, I want him to play golf with me tomorrow afternoon and I told him that as he stinks at reading my mind.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      You go girl!!! ❤️

  7. Oh Jami, you are writing straight to my heart today. We celebrate motherhood every day in the big and in the little things. I am better off for having loved my people as well.

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Happy Mother’s Day friend…

  8. Glenna McKelvie says:

    Maybe “THAT” is the reason I give my daughters (and
    Daughter-in-law) gifts on mother’s day. Nothing gave
    me more joy than being a mother, except maybe being
    a grandmother! It was what I wanted most in life!

  9. Kristy says:

    Be still my anxious heart. These words are healing to me and a lesson I wish to take with me as a mama to five littles. I hope I show them they are my gift, my reward, my blessing that no card, box of chocolate, or potted plant could ever hope to be. I struggle with Mother’s Day, I feel guilt, I feel sadness. But my two oldest came home from school yesterday with sweet cards they made for me, with sentiments written they have difficulty showing, and my heart was overwhelmed with love. Those little humans love me everyday, no matter how much I fail, reminding me of my Savior’s love. Thank you for this post, and everything you write. I always look forward to it. God Bless you and all of yours!!

    1. jami_amerine says:

      Bless you friend.

  10. Love this piece..

    1. jami_amerine says:

      ❤️

  11. Kathy says:

    I have always had issue with Mother’s Day. We should all love our Mothers each and every day. I guess it’s okay to have a day set aside to honor them but if your day to day life does not honor them then the sentiment on that one day is not authentic.

    1. jami_amerine says:
  12. Well, NOW I read this. Ugh.

    I would have shared the heck out of this puppy had I been home and able to get online!

    I was just too busy doing what I loved… being a mother. Oh, and being a daughter and daughter in law too.

    I love this so so much. It’s shifted my perspective from wanting a bit of gratitude and acknowledgement (Not a lot- I’m easy- a hug and a hand written letter would be perfect) to truly understanding that this extraordinary calling is more than I could ever ask for in itself.

  13. […] This has been a lifelong goal of Maggie’s. […]

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  15. […] Our foster-love was sick last week.  Of all the things I love… I love her.  To serve this baby, to love her gives new life to a weary soul, but even I have my limits. […]

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