If you have read my blog more than once, it has been well established I operate with a healthy dose of fear.
I am afraid.
Flying, spiders, crunchy bugs, egg salad, heights, closed spaces, wide open spaces, stomach viruses – these are just a few of the things I am afraid of…
Yet fear is the opposite of faith.
And I consider myself a person of faith.
[Tweet “Yet fear is the opposite of faith #fearfightingbook @kellybalarie”]
I recall several years ago waking to an announcement on Facebook that a family friend, a young woman in her early 30’s, had succumbed to her battle with cancer and passed at 3:00 am. As a young mother myself, I was physically sick. Although it had seemed an inevitable ending, I and others had faith… we had hoped she would be made whole here on earth to raise her babies.
I drudged through that day, slinging snot, heaving sobs, and mumbling heartache.
The next morning I read another post from her family. It was the usual thank you’s, memorial arrangements, and remembrances, and then something that struck me to my core. The simple statement, we slept well for the first time in 4 years – our worst fears were realized in her passing, there was nothing left to do but sleep.
I had forgotten all about this until last night – the prince of lies loves to rob us of rest.
Last night, I had tossed and turned with worry and fear until I couldn’t face the sleeplessness another moment, so I strayed into the family room to flip through channels. The more I allowed myself to think, the more my imagination ran wild. The more my imagination ran wild, the more my heart raced, my head pounded, and panic gripped me from every side.
I gave in and cried heaving sobs. I had tried all the tricks.
Though I walk through the valley…
Be not afraid…
Rest was evading me, peace was skirting me at every turn. And I do not believe God was far from me, I believe I was distracted and far from God. The lie I have believed in the past was that He moves from me because He is mad.
I have been so wrong.
He was right there, He was with me… I didn’t have to call 911. I didn’t start screaming like a banshee… I just couldn’t get over the hump.
At 3 am I secured headphones on my ears, I put a hot washcloth with lavender essential oil on it, over my eyes and turned on Francesca Battistelli – Holy Spirit song on repeat.
So utterly relieved to have finally stopped my hyperventilating, I was thankful that I no longer had to be awake and crushed, and thankful there’s no condemnation in Christ.
There is no shame in my weakness, for He is strong.
Tears may come, but joy comes in the morning. He is good. He is mighty to save.
My worst fears are no match for the promises of the Most High.
I am looking most forward to the release of my friend Kelly Balarie’s new book Fear Fighting… for such a time as this – it is an ordained word. My social media feeds ooze fear. What will become of our country? What will the future hold? My child is being bullied, my marriage is falling apart, my child is involved in…
We are afraid.
It is time to fight back.
Break the bonds of terror not with Xanax… but the promises of Jesus Christ.
Stand up to the enemy.
Run free in the sovereignty bought for us on the cross.
Congratulations Kelly, I need my copy yesterday.
May you floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami
I sought the Lord, He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
The wait is over!!!! Get your copy today!!!!
For more information on Kelly’s #fearfightingbook click on the image below!