God is most careful with you…
I can’t stand it.
Years wasted… bemoaning… I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t adored. I could never measure up to what was expected.
You can’t talk me out of it… I won’t succumb to the lie, “You must work harder to please Him.”
I want what He wants.
I want what He came and died for… a new mind. A new way of thinking, living, and believing.
Call me what you will. Call it a fantasy… wishful thinking… a fairytale.
You can’t sell me what you’re pitching, because… I know me.
I cannot magically manifest the love, peace, joy, or any of the other things that flow from me since I heard the REAL GOOD NEWS. Believe me, I tried.
This Monday morning, my oldest son will be sworn in to United States Marine Bootcamp. I will watch as he boards a bus, headed to the airport, on the other side of the country, for three months. And I cannot scheme the level of joy I have in knowing, this boy, this man-baby, walks in the favor of the Lord.
He may walk through the valley of the shadow of death… but he will do so with a Jesus that “is most careful with him.”
He is most careful with him.
He is most careful with me.
He is most careful with you.
I needn’t fake it until I make it… I needn’t mask my concerns or worries. My grief, the dread I feel knowing the depth of our son’s absence is not a lack of faith. I used to believe sadness marked me as shallow and less than; that JOY was the gift of laughter and sanctimonious peace. I was burdened by guilt when I didn’t feel this way… believing I must try harder.
Grief is a legitimate emotion, the product of loss and a ceremony worthy of a beloved relationship that is changing, ending, or moving onto an eternity.
Grief is a gift – a product of love. The blessing now, is falling into the arms of a loving and flawless Father whose love, perfected, casts out all fears.
I will cry.
I will miss him.
I will pray, grieve, and eagerly await that first letter.
But I will not doubt my Creator. And my peace and joy come from knowing… He is most careful with me.
May your floors be sticky and your man-babies be safe and well. Love, Jami
“So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; He’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (Msg.)
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