The dog ate my homework.
It’s not you, it’s me.
My alarm clock didn’t go off.
The list of excuses is exhausting.
And… who am I fooling?
But, all excuses aside, my floors are disgusting. And yeah, I can’t vacuum because my son ran over my vacuum cleaner. He asked to borrow it and then got distracted and forgot that it was behind him, instead of in the trunk of his car.
The rest is history.
And I don’t want to buy a new vacuum. Vacuuming is the pits. I would rather have a pedicure and massage than spend a nickel on a new vacuum.
But it is a necessary evil.
I have actually just been sweeping the crumbs up off the rugs and it has sufficed… however, the crumbs are winning… and that last thing wasn’t really crumbs and more classifiable as… toast.
The right tools are needed to make things look nice and orderly. I am sad to say, a new vacuum is being finagled into the budget.
The things I can afford, and the things I should afford are in two different categories. Lately, I have a list of “shoulds” that is overwhelming. I would be better off, if and when I cross them from the list of “should” and leave them “all-done.”
Stuff I should do is often overridden by stuff I’d rather do. And I would rather not do hard stuff.
There I said it.
I used to like to do hard stuff. I used to like to push my limits… I loved for sweat to drip off my nose and my muscles to just nearly gave way. And I am not here to rehash the whys and why nots of where and how I got where I am.
I am more timid, more tired, and more unmotivated, wait… less motivated. Whatever.
But I am trying to focus on the beneficial.
Is it going to benefit me?
Is this a blessing or a curse? And frankly, this can go either way.
I am allergic to strawberries. By all accounts strawberries are good, but not if you are allergic to them.
And while I used to push my body to the limits with harsh and long workouts, adrenal fatigue warrants a different level of aerobic behavior.
Still, appearances – first, last, and in between are of significance, and I want to look better.
I want to feel better.
I want to do life… better.
The separation of permissible and beneficial has me pondering my entire life. Had I done things differently maybe I wouldn’t have some of the struggles I now face. However, I might have missed opportunities for growth, I can honestly say… I am glad I learned.
So while I have fully fallen into the arms of GRACE, I look back to years of self-righteous abuse and self-condemnation and boast of my folly.
I was wrong.
The God of creation, my Father in Heaven never once, not one time in my journey sought to destroy me. He is and was FOR ME.
He is the proud Papa on the front row, eyes beaming, heart bursting, holding a huge bouquet of flowers delighting in me, His daughter.
And I won’t be talked off the stage. I won’t go back to a place where I believed He was shaming, hating, turning from me. I won’t go back and wander in the desert desperately trying to accomplish the impossible… a blood covenant.
He did it.
I don’t have to.
The things He gives me to do now…. No matter the challenge will bring joy to my soul, a smile to my face, and glory to His kingdom.
I was terrified of Him for so long. And fear was the motivator that kept me running on the hamster wheel. Feel of condemnation, wrath, fire and brimstone.
And for this… there is no excuse.
He is for me.
He is for my marriage.
He is for my children.
He is for my health and wellness.
He is a loving Father who gave up everything so I could freely love HIM, believe HIM, and be brave enough to se…. FREEDOM.
My friend Tricia Gunn says it best, “The law is good, holy and just but it didn’t make us good, holy and just… Jesus did.”
The promises of scriptures were not said just so God could hear Himself talk.
He is for me, no one is against me.
He came to heal me, not destroy me.
He came to set captives free, not bind me up and imprison me.
He came to give me life abundant… not to keep me face down in the mud groveling with the pigs.
And if I am truly free, then I am free indeed. Adored, cherished, blessed and set apart for good works that do not justify me… but bring Him glory.
I have no excuse.
I will feast with Him, dance in His presence and fall into His arms and worship.
Come as you are, make no excuses.
May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami
1 Corinthians 10:23 Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
Utterly shocked to find my book on Amazon for PRESALE!!!! So fun!!!
And check out the new #sacredsticky store!!!