Stuff I Wish You’d Quit Saying: Facebook, Hell, and Your Cat’s Safety…. All the stuff you’ve been saying/doing on Facebook
It’s a blessing and It’s a curse.
However, it is not a LITERAL curse friends. If I don’t share your status, I won’t actually be cast into the bowels of hell. And here is the thing, I believe that saying such things makes believers look like, well… backwoods, moronic, chicken sacrificing, bafoons.
You know, back in the day there was quite a bit of dignity attributed to the Christian faith.
Brothers and sisters who have gone before us did things like, choose the Savior over their own well-being. They’d be asked to deny Him and if they refused? They were burned alive, stoned to death, or beheaded. I think at a minimum, to honor them, we could maybe not threaten people with a firey eternity or the death of their cat if they don’t share your “If You Love Jesus” Meme… Just saying.
While we are at it, who sees your status?
Well, you can’t be fully confident. If your Facebook is set up to share only with you, grandma, and 40 of your very best gun totting, chain smoking, clown dressing, confederate friends it might be safe to have a political rant. But why do you need their affirmation, they already agree with you? However, if you are like me, I am blessed with several different categories of friends. People I care about, who are friends with people they care about, who have people they care about. And we are alienating hurting humans, people in need of compassion, integrity, and a message of Good News, with our lofty opinions, never seeing or meeting the real life beings that are impacted by the flippancy of a Facebook post.
Trust me, in August of 2015 69 people read my blog. In September of 2015, 690,000 people read it. If you put a boy rabbit and a girl rabbit in the same cage, you will have plenty of rabbits. The reality is you don’t know how your statements will read in someone else’s feed. Nor, can you promise that normal sane humans will read the entirety of your script before they unleash the hounds of hell on you, or make a lifelong negative association of Believers, based on something you said. Something you put out… for all the world to see.
This I can guarantee:
My children won’t remember a time they couldn’t share a picture of their waffles with the universe. Their unabridged future could be impacted by an upload of them burping the alphabet. Years from now it could be played back at their congressional hearing where they are battling for the salvation of the starving, tortured, and abused peoples of the African Congo.
Transcript: Senator Amerine are we to assume you are fully cognizant of the gravity of the proposal you have brought before us? Because we would like to submit this video of you and your brother playing the National Anthem with your armpits, burbs, and flatulence while feeding each other Cheezits with your feet.
Readers my stance on this or that. Accused of being all fluff and no depth. Why won’t I speak out against A or B? I suppose sometimes I might. However, I think if I am going to rant it won’t be against humanity but rather how we appear toward humanity.
The truth is you don’t know what any one individual in your feed is dealing with, you aren’t wholly responsible for how Jesus wants to help them or what He is doing for them that has nothing to do with your beliefs. The tragedy of Christianity and Facebook is the face that is often portrayed to the masses – a face of callousness, tomfoolery, superstition, and arrogance. Furthermore, the chances that your post or meme will change a heart are quite slim. Heart change comes from the Creator of the heart.
As Christians, I think this is most important.
If we are the body of Christ, we needn’t make a mockery of Him.
He is available to all, individually and miraculously. He wasn’t offensive, and no offense comes from the Lord, so if you are offensive – guess who didn’t send you? If your rant quoting scriptures and promising hell fires and the mockery of millennials, sends people packing, who are you preaching to?
These are the things to consider.
While we are at it lets reevaluate a few more things:
Pictures of a positive pregnancy test… yes, we see your pee on a stick, thanks for sharing that.
Adding people to groups without asking. Heads up, I am not that invested in my dog, recycling, or a new baseball field. Oh, and BTW – how can you assume I agree with you?
The half-cooked, salmonella soaked chicken legs you are Bar-B-queuing. If you want to share, share safely and at a healthy 165 degrees.
Stop asking me to share stuff if I hate cancer, drunk drivers, Walmart, and pollution. I do. The thing is, I am a busy woman, let it be understood, I hate those things and the universe isn’t impacted by my shares.
URGENT prayer request for the line at Starbucks to move more quickly. I am praying for the same thing friend… I need coffee, and I have places to be too. But we can do this and keep it between us and God and not look like insensitive blow holes in the process.
For the love, if you cannot MAKE me attend your Tupperware party in person you shouldn’t be allowed to FORCE me to participate virtually. Stop adding people to Facebook parties. Feel free to ask me. Also, understand I have THREE kids at a private Christian University, four young children at home, and I just used quarters to buy a gallon of milk. Truly, I am proud of your business savvy but one more alert about how “time is running out!” on my opportunity to buy a cheese grater and get a free mascara… and we can’t be friends anymore.
Also, stop telling me “Christians don’t talk like ….” Yes, they do. I am a Christian, I just did.
Indeed, I know I have left a few mentions out of this public service announcement. I know you won’t disappoint me… I wait for your comments below.
Feel free to share this, you might just win the lottery. (Also, if you want to win the lottery you’ll need to buy a ticket.)
May your floors be sticky and your Facebook a happy place. Love, JamiProud fools talk too much; the words of the wise protect them Proverbs 14:3
Proud fools talk too much; the words of the wise protect them Proverbs 14:3
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