When I first opened this account I had two technical issues that I couldn’t seem to resolve. First, the professional head shot I had taken at the conference wouldn’t show up on my sites and second, I was unable to open some sites I’d previously been able to visit. God tube was the first to deny me access. There was a link on my Facebook to a video of a chihuahua in a tutu playing with a baby. When I clicked on the link it said I was denied access because of inappropriate material associated with my account. Curious… but whatever, I don’t really have time for chihuahua non-sense and I have plenty of babies. Later, while doing some research, the same thing happened to me on a popular site… like Focus on the Family or something like that.
The next time I chatted with the help desk I mentioned these two issues. The wise and all knowing technical help interactive bubble said it would look into it and get back to me.
I received an email about an hour later and in the subject line it said:
REMOVE ALL PG-R RATED MATERIAL FROM YOUR SITE.
The short way around the horn is, while setting up this account I had chosen an adult content setting on my profile picture. Well, in all fairness, I had an one year old in my lap banging on the keyboard while my photo was uploading. I don’t actually recall clicking on a button that would indicate my profile was pornographic. This would be one of the greater handicaps to creative works; a monkey in your lap. That, and no sleep. Literally, we get no sleep.
I am panic stricken by this. The heck with being judged for irrelevant topics or bad grammar! I am picturing a board room with James Dobson, Franklin Graham, Joyce Meyers, and a congregate of the Six Flags Over Jesus big wigs, and they are developing a coalition against internet evils and I am at the top of the list. Granted, I am always at the top of the list because of the “A”, but I am mortified just the same!
The paranoia only increases as I am being “followed” on Twitter by droves of strangers, yet I am NEVER re-tweed. I am at a loss when it comes to this. Can the tweeters (are they called this?) see my profile and then follow me because they have been lead to believe I am the Hugh Hefner of Christian humorous mommy inspirations?
I am a little bit hyper. Slightly intense, I can’t let this go. I quickly contact the wise and all knowing technical help interactive bubble:
“WHAT DO I DO!??!”
The bubble says “It is fine, you can change the setting. And start over. It is not a reflection of your blog.”
I get the settings changed and I am able to watch the chihuahua and the baby and it is just darling… But now I have even more questions! What did idiots like myself do for entertainment before we could access mind numbing videos of chihuahuas? at any moment? Why can’t I get retweeted? How can I ever express myself in a micro tweet anyway? And…How can I most effectively express myself so that people know that Jesus is my whole world. I never want to be fraudulent or mislead anyone. I want my children to experience the same ability when they receive a message or try to convey one.
I once read a diet blog that suggested curbing emotional eating by having a mint. After my fourth full size peppermint patty it occurred to me; the author probably was referring to a Tic-Tac or an Altoid….It’s important to be specific. Its important your message is clear. It is important people don’t think you are naked when you share this message.
So, that is my prayer for today. Clarity. Clear ears, clear speech. I pray that I might boldly profess, that no matter how badly I mess up the message, checking the wrong box, too long of a tweet, or fatigue induced grammatical errors, all will know my heart belongs to Jesus Christ. And also that James Dobson doesn’t think I am an icky internet creep. Oh! and please let someone retweet me. In Jesus Name, Amen
May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami
“The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever. Psalm 119:160
*Update, my twitter was set to “private” but my son fixed it and you can follow me @jamiamerine Retweet away!