When our oldest, Maggie was nearly four, and John was one, there was an incident in Maggie’s closet. John was crying hysterically. Maggie came out and said, “the baby bited himsewf.”
The cherub boy had teeth marks in his fleshy forearm, he was devastated to have met with such violence.
I was furious.
I knew full well he hadn’t bit himself. I was about to take a chunk out of Miss Mary Margaret for 1. Biting and 2. Lying.
And then… her daddy stepped in.
Fully convinced his precious little girl would never 1. Bite and 2. Lie… HE BELIEVED HER.
Seriously Y’all, my husband truly believed his first and only son (who barely had a tooth in his head,) heir to the throne, transferor of the crest, would bite himself so hard he left teeth marks and could barely catch his breath from the agony???
IF this were true, the boy would have to live with us indefinitely and attend a “special” school.
What followed was a HUGE fight between my sweetie and me. For days on end, we sent hateful glares at each other. Justin slept on the couch. If we spoke, we spat character assassinations. Disgust seeped from our pores, and Maggie went on her merry way, unpunished for her deeds.
On day five of “the bite heard round the world,” Maggie and I were sitting at her mini table and chairs in her room coloring in a Little Mermaid coloring book.
“Mommy, I bited John-John in da cwoset.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Daddy finks I didn’t.”
“Yes, I know.”
“How come he finks dat?”
I refrained from barking, “BECAUSE HE’S A FREAKING LUNATIC and he’s been seduced by your pre-school witchcraft!?!?!” And instead said, “Well, he is your biggest fan.”
My heart softened. It is nice to have a biggest fan. I have had a few tidbits of success lately. Both Justin and my dad are quick to say, “I knew you’d be famous!” Which is a stretch, still, it is nice to be believed in. It is grand to have that fan base. It is good to feel you are encouraged or applauded. Of course, Maggie confessed to Justin when he came home for lunch that day. Justin, uh, well… he cried. He was crushed at the malice and in some kind of creepy, horrific shock that his angel girl was capable or 1. Biting and 2. Lying.
Yeah, it was ugly.
But the more glaring aspect to the anecdote was the fact that upon his recovery he was still just as in love with her… just as enamored with her preciousness. The next incident in the “cwoset” he was just as convinced of her innocence. Granted, it didn’t result in either of us seeking divorce counsel. But he still listened well, and truly sought to hear, understand, reprimand, and forgive her.
And isn’t this reminiscent of our Living God. Well, kind of, He knows full well when we 1. Bite and 2. Lie. Still, His mercies are amazing. He believed so much in us He sent Jesus to the cross to cover the transgressions and bring us into the freedom of forgiveness. Talk about a fan club. Talk about GRACE and ABUNDANCE.
I try not to ever sermon or lecture… but as I packed up some pictures I remembered this story. I recalled my ickiness this last weekend. The stress of three littles, the uber stress of four bigs, Justin was plowing sun up to sun down… and beyond.
A garage sale, pink eye, packing, moving, our budget – oh LANTA! The expense of moving, even just to the outskirts of town is insane. Just one more sack of burgers, and another roll of tums, and no I don’t drink diet coke anymore but, um, well yeah, just during this move. But GRACE and FAVOR seem to follow me…. All of us.
This morning as I browsed my Facebook I saw a friend and her husband in my feed. He’s a boxer y’all? A boxer. And he had a stellar fight the other night and my friend Leah’s picture struck me with such a thrill… Her adoration and pride… his biggest fan. She swoons and boasts, rightfully so, her man had a first round knock-out punch. My friend’s words left a lump in my throat as they most likely did her, as she paid tribute to her love in pure poetry, scripture, and cootie-filled fabulous-less-ness.
And these fantastic relationships that we treasure here on earth are the ones that most give us the glimpse of heaven – they keep us going. The daddy that believes the best of you, the husband and father that just “knew you’d be famous,” and the wife/fan girl, who can’t wait for the fancy footwork, the success… these loves are infinitely smaller than the love of a LIVING GOD, who gave HIS ONLY SON for you.
I am slain by this today. In all my ick, He believes I was worth it. He believes in the good I crave, He deems me forgivable and right. He sees the potential. He is crushed when I 1. Bite and 2. Lie… but then He quickly absolves me and overlooks my insanity.
How is this? How is this even possible, I gush??? How can there be this much lavishing love? This I do not know. This I will not question. I simply bask in the glory of being loved so greatly by… My Biggest Fan.
The ground beneath me is a mess… yet here He wanders my halls, searches my heart and makes all things… Sacred.
May your floors be sticky and your calling ordained. Love, Jami
Isaiah 11:2 (NASB) “And He will delight in the fear of the Lord, and He will not judge by what His eyes see, nor make a decision by what His ears hear;”
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