After months of suffering I have had extensive allergy testing.
Maybe I needed to hear it from a professional. I knew wheat made me sick. Sick, ha, unable to breathe. But now I have it in writing. I am allergic to wheat. Also: garlic, strawberries, mangoes, cashews, almonds, milk, grapes, tea, Lima beans, sesame, soy, cola, the list goes on. And on.
And I don’t want this. I want things to be easier. If you are allergic to garlic – uh, what the heck will you ever eat? I am baffled by this diagnosis. And I am at a conference so I am sure my body won’t mind if I just finish what I started and I will eat safer when I get home.
So here I am in my room – missing the lively vibe that is the American Christian Fictions Writers conference. Maybe a third Benadryl will save me from myself. It was “One last roll, and one last strawberry… one last glass of iced tea’ that brought me to this sickly state.
Or maybe there was garlic on the steak. Who am I kidding, there was garlic on the steak.
And I certainly could throw myself a pity party, but this is self inflicted. And greater suffering is all around me. My parents and my brother are at the funeral of dear friends who died in a plane crash. My sweet friend Jenny buried her daddy yesterday. Cat scans, pet scans, biopsies, criminal trials, counseling sessions, divorce papers… sad hard times abound. And we want to be comforted. When I have wanted to be comforted I am sure something with gluten, garlic, cheese, and more gluten have been a go to for me. No more.
It occurs to me I will miss these things – a lot. I am convicted that I will miss these things. Worldly satisfactions in lieu of seeking comfort from the One True Comforter are a first world problem. Americans are afflicted by comfort. We are burdened with heaping bowls of macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes, yeast rolls, and bowls of chicken and dumplings. We are stuffed with comfort to the point we needn’t seek it from the One who eagerly waits to fill us.
I am guilty of instilling this in my children and I pray today is not only the last yeast roll. I pray today marks the day I stop offering my children worldly comforts instead of Godly comforts – a cookie or sucker is replaced by a healing Word.
Today at a writing conference I am rewriting comfort and joyfully resting in His presence. And it is well…
“It is written, man does not live on bread alone…” Luke 4:4